No Tolerance after a Loss

  I share this post as an observation to help you help others with grief and loss. Have you ever looked at, listened to or lived with someone after a close relationship ended, even by death?  One theme that is common among many grieving individuals is a lack of tolerance for many things.  Collectively the […]

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Since my loss, I forget how to prepare meals

“I forget how to prepare meals” is a comment I have heard several times from the primary cook in a family after a sudden and/or traumatic death loss, which is defined by the individual, not myself.  You may wonder how someone can forget how to cook meals. Consider for a moment what the grieving person […]

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What are You Avoiding?

What are you avoiding when a loss has occurred or you know it is going to happen soon?  “GRIEF” may be the main experience you want to avoid. Does anyone willingly go into grief and if so does avoidance present itself at some time? Keeping busy doing anything to avoid thinking about death and loss is […]

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Love Them Anyway

Have you ever noticed there are people in your life who just drive you nuts?  There are people who do not seem to do it the “right way”; the people who just seem to be so different from you and at the same time are a part of your family.  What do you do? Love […]

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Words Make It Real For You and Me

Hearing the words you or someone you know is dying makes death more “real” for some people.  Does this mean denial or fear is in the picture? Does this mean someone is not ready to deal with the reality as it is at that particular moment?  Is there a right or wrong approach to dealing with […]

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Grief and Traumas Show on Your Face

The more I counsel an individual, the more I see the stress from loss and traumas leave their face. I have always said grief is mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.  I cannot see the spiritual components on the outside of someone, but the other three aspects are shown on their face. The experiences of mental agony, […]

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Grief Perceived as Anger

Anger is often described as a stage of grief after a loss and in some cases this is true.  Often the perceived anger associated with one loss may be compounded by unexpected additional stresses.  The individual may feel changes in themself and others may notice or think something is wrong. Low tolerance or no tolerance […]

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Small Wonders in Tough Times

Have you ever taken the time to analyse the events in your life and then wonder how you made it through the tough times? Sometimes, the tough times include grief and loss. There are inevitably, small wonders in the tough times. The small wonders can add up to big accomplishments. The small wonders may go […]

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A Deeper Look at Hugs

Recently I had a conversation about “HUGS”, which caused me to delve deeper into this action. I found it interesting how some people need and crave hugs, while others try to run away from them. Which one are you? Hugs mean different things to different people. Depending on your culture, background, gender, comfort level, abuse, […]

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Getting Overwhelmed

Getting Overwhelmed with Life Wow! Sometimes life seems to bring grief, loss, illness and more to the forefront. In the process we have a tendency to get swept up in the currents of frustration, confusion, helplessness and being overwhelmed. What do you do? No matter what you do, life has a way of making other […]

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