I do not think I have to elaborate on the fact feelings and emotions affect everyone in some shape or form. What I do want to touch on is the HOW. How do feelings and emotions create differences in you and me? What do the differences look like?
For a moment, I am going to say feelings and emotions can be positive or negative and anywhere in between. Have you ever been near someone who was very angry and had the sense you could almost touch their anger. The heaviness and darkness associated with anger can create an energy surrounding an individual that causes others to want to run in the different direction away from the darkness.
On the flip side, the feelings of joy, happiness and love can have a brightness or lightness about them causing you to want to be around people who exude this energy whether you realize it or not.
Think for a moment of what would happen if numbers were given to positive and negative emotions experienced during the course of a day for whatever reason. To make it easy I will name a few and give them numbers. Happy, excited, joyful, peace, and love, count them as +50 points each. Now try anger, sadness, despair, longing and grief, count them as -50 points each. What would your score be?
Are you on the positive or minus most of the time? Do you notice certain situations cause you to fluctuate on the scale of emotional numbers? It is not uncommon to go about our day not realizing the effect we have on our self and others.
Understanding this concept may provide insight into how we are affected by feelings and emotions, but this is only the beginning.
What I have not stated is the degree of the work needed for some individuals to heal from loss experiences. I have said it many times and I will say it again, “Grief is work.” If you are prepared to look deeper into yourself, please continue.
I want you to consider several of the emotional and feeling words associated with grief and loss concerns; anxiety, broken heart, crying, overwhelmed, injustice, thoughts of suicide, frustration, guilt, regret, loneliness, fear, pain, anger, emptiness, confusion, deserted and for now I will end with missing. Can you relate to any of these words? What would your negative number score be if you had several of these words on your list? Acknowledging the list exists is a step in the positive direction of the healing process.
As healing progresses with the grief and loss course, emotions gradually begin to change for many people. Over time, which is different for everyone and in some cases never happens; individuals begin to find their positive list of words for emotions and feelings.
When intention is focused on positives such as confidence, joy, inner strength, tenacity, acceptance, being proud, less sad, faith, love, calmness, decisiveness, trust, moving forward, capable, and contentment to name a few, living begins to change the way you are.
Realizing change takes time, work and may come with a life dance of happy and sad that eventually has more happiness. Remember to look at your positive and negative scores as you move through your day and life. You are in control if you choose to be.
WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?