Many Reasons for Missing Someone During the Holidays

We are entering what many people call the “Holiday Season”.  When grief and loss are associated with this season the term “Joyful Spirits” may not be appropriate.  What happens when you are unable to see loved ones for whatever reason during this time, which in some cases seems to magnify or trigger the grief and loss experiences?

 Individuals you or others may want to connect with are not available due to;

  1. Death loss
  2. Domestic Violence situations where isolation, fear, shame and not knowing how to approach the situation may create a scenario where isolation and distancing becomes the norm
  3. Illness which comes in many ways such as Alzheimer’s, ALS, cancer, brain tumor etc., where the person you once knew is not the same
  4. Military service where the person may be out of the country in harm’s way
  5. Missing persons where you have no idea where the person is or if they are alive
  6. Misunderstandings where a rift in the relationship has created a barrier to meaningful communication
  7. Relationship break-ups where children, parents and grandchildren are not allowed to or won’t socialize with you (plus other individuals who may feel the loss)
  8. Relocation for job or other reasons
  9. Immigrating to a new country and family members are not with you
  10. Travel restrictions due to weather, economics, government shut downs such as COVID 19

The heart ache of not being with someone you care about can be too much for some people to handle. 

  • Be open to inviting a grieving person to share some time with you, to do something different, to just “be” in a different space for a while.
  • Be receptive of invitations to do something with others; this may be the opportunity that opens the door to what you have been in need of, as a change in your routine/life.

Remember, grief and loss are a two-way street for some situations; 

others may not be able to connect to you due to the 

dynamics of the situation they are in.

In society we are reluctant to reach out to help others or to ask for help if needed.  Do something to “be” or have someone “be” in a different space with YOU!  Caring is sharing and sometimes your time and presence is all that matters or that of others.

All my best,

Barbara Gillett Saunders

Grief Counsellor/Thanatologist