Being alone after the loss of a partner due to whatever reason, is difficult for many of us. If this speaks to you, then chances are good that there is a knot in your stomach, perhaps a tightness in your chest and maybe even a few tears starting.
Where do I begin? This question could be asked while looking in a room, deciding what to keep and what to remove from the house or pondering what the next step in life is going to be.
What do I do? This question could be full of fear or anticipation as decisions are weighed back and forth. Try a new hobby, go on a trip, move to a different home and meet new friends.
How do I begin? By asking a few questions the process has already begun. It takes time to be alone and gradually not feel lonely. Tears lessen, joy returns, new experiences are possible and begin to be a part of life. Soon new experiences are something to create and look forward to.
Decisions are made when and how you want to make them. No one needs to tell you whether or not to do something or how to do it. Figuring out who you are now may be different than what and who you were in the relationship with your partner.
Deciding what to do (when you can do most of what you want to do) may be powerful or overwhelming. Imagine the endless possibilities of all the new experiences to be had. What is holding you back?
Fear- “What will others say”, “I have never done that before”, and “What if I don’t like it”, can all be excuses to hold you back. Find the courage to try something different and if you don’t like it don’t do it again.
A part of my journey when first alone included getting a Christmas tree and decorating it “MY WAY”. Well, it was decision; which included white lights, white pearls, a pink fuzzy star along with a few new ornaments. Friends smiled when they saw my tree and bought me a few PINK ornaments they felt personified me.
Over the years things have changed, but some have remained the same.
The point is, find what makes your heart sing, your smile light up and don’t stop living because life is not what you had planned.
All my best,
Barbara Gillett Saunders