Are you someone who no longer has your child in your life for whatever reason? Perhaps you know someone who no longer has their child in their life. Reasons such as, miscarriage, infant death, murder, missing person, suicide, abortion, or estrangement can create causes for triggers with child loss.
When I say “child”, if grandchild, niece, nephew, close friend or more fits the mark take those relationships into consideration if it applies to you when I mention scenarios that create triggers with child loss.
Some of the strongest triggers with child loss come from relationships that are closest to the grieving individual. Let me explain more here. Suppose your child is murdered and other family members or close friends have children who are currently the age your child would now be, if he/she/they were alive today.
As the grieving individual, on the outside or with what I let you see of me, everything seems “fine”. On the inside what you do not know is; I miss my child every day. I wish I could share new stories with you and show you new pictures of my child as you are able to show me.
When I see your child have another birthday, I see my child at that age in my mind, but the hardest reminder is that will never really happen for me.
My child is gone from my life. When I see your child accomplish milestones in life, I am reminded that I will never see that with my child. Graduations, job promotions, marriages, and more are events I will never share with others or my child. Do not get me wrong or think badly of me.
I try my best to be happy for you and for myself. Sometimes I am happy. No matter what else I have in my life, I do and will always remember the child I do not have here with me. Some losses stay in your heart forever.
For many who currently have or know those who have experienced a child loss, this loss is unlike any other. It cannot be explained away. It cannot be dismissed as so many outsiders try to do.
It is as if the pain of the loss goes in hiding from the world, but the individual truly knows where it is and knows it can never be hidden from them. In silent remembering, the triggers come, but you as an outsider will in many cases no longer be given notice of when this happens.