With a sigh, this is such a difficult decision to make when you realize that the time has come to not have your pet suffer. I know others saw this decision coming as did I, but who wants to take that final step and say good bye? Am I holding onto her (my pet), because I don’t want her to not be here? Darn right I am!!!
The discussion with myself continues as I acknowledge;
- It is time to let her go,
- Make the phone call to the veterinary clinic,
- Set a day and time
Next discussion with myself;
- Does the veterinary assistant think I might change my mind and gives me a few days?
- Hmmm, do I think I might change my mind and need a few days to think about it more?
- Hmmm, yep, more cuddle time.
More self discussion;
- Smarten up, it’s not about you, it’s about the pain and discomfort of my pet; even though she does not complain much, her actions speak louder than MEEOOOWS.
- Am I doing the right thing, at this time?
- Stop it!!! You have put this decision off long enough.
Personal experiences I noticed as I processed my decision and after included;
- Lump in my throat
- Tightness in my chest
Crap! This is grief and it sucks. No matter how much I distract myself my thoughts come back to loss, grief, anticipating the loss… I feel it too soon, I don’t want to “feel”.
Whew, this is real and unavoidable when we have attachment bonds, when we care and love. I have been here before and perhaps you have too. If you have clients who grieve, they are in this grief spot a lot.
As I write this, knowing on Thursday afternoon she will no longer be here, I pause and tell myself to:
- Breath, take a few deep breaths in and out…woops, a several deep yawns continue to happen in sequence. I know this is emotional releasing and is a good thing in processing grief.
- This post is like journaling; which I advised my clients to do…hmm, now I am taking my own advice for a change.
I am not alone here with this decision and experience of pending loss and we are grateful for each other.
You know, it is really hard to get any work done when you are like this! ?
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
I wonder if our pets know that we have made this decision and how difficult it is to do?
Here are some ((((((HUGS)))))) after reading this one.
All my best,
Barbara Gillett Saunders