No one to call mom or dad may have numerous applications and reasons for being a fact of life for some individuals. Good or bad, happy or sad, wanted or not wanted it happens!
Divorce, death, estrangement, and other circumstances can play a part in having no one to call mom or dad at any stage in life.
Are you an adult who grew up with no parent or parents? Perhaps situations have been created and now as an adult you do not acknowledge a parent in your life. No matter how you look at it there are components of loss in having no one to call mom or dad.
Does anyone pay attention to this sadness? Who even knows there is sadness deep in the heart; maybe you do not know it is their either. I use the term “sadness” in a generalized context, but components of grief and loss can last a life time.
Many individuals believe they are good at hiding their true feelings. Maybe they are, but at some point in life they may have to realise that the extra stress is grief not looked at yet, the kind that gets pushed aside for in some cases years.
The memories of childhood parent loss may continue into adulthood. Stories remembered of making a craft in school for mom or dad and not knowing what to do with that craft afterwards. Feeling pressured to make something and not knowing who was safe to talk to about the strong feelings of loss.
Notice how you or others behave when an anniversary date of a death or loss is near. Ask someone else if they have noticed changes in you at certain times of the year; chances are good they have and did not want to open the door of discussion on your loss experience.
Years may pass and all of a sudden, one trigger will occur that causes the grief reaction and the door of memories opens. The memories come flooding back with no one to call mom or dad when growing up as a child and for some, no one to emulate being a mom or dad when you are the parent.
Perhaps you are the adult who no longer speaks with a parent for whatever reason; blame, shame, guilt, lack of respect, unable to speak with them due to cognitive concerns on either side. The point is, as often stated, “You will miss them when they are gone”.
If by chance you are still able to communicate with a parent, do so now. Get the answers to your questions before it is too late. I know there are many who wish they had that opportunity; least of all, to talk with someone about your loss.