In previous postings I wrote about being stuck and motivational ideas but I want to point out there are sometimes valid reasons for being stuck.
You might ask what a reason for being stuck is.
- Time to “be” with the sadness
- Time to grieve
- Time to realize there may be a trauma component connected to the loss
The grief associated with the trauma of a loss can be a separate issue from the actual loss.
In many cases the trauma or the trauma of the loss needs to be healed or dealt with before the loss can mourned and grieved effectively.
Mourning defined as the outward expression of grief; from the feelings shown on your face to the clothing you wear.
Grief defined as the inward expression of loss; which can be mental, emotional, physical, spiritual or psychological. (anxiety, despair, inability to eat, over eating, chest pains that feel like your heart is breaking, etc.)
Traumatic loss has numerous components that could be similar to other problems, hence the need for professional diagnosis; if grief reactions seem prolonged and continue to cause problems with daily functioning.
Sometimes when components of a loss are not looked at or a person feels they cannot talk about a part of a loss (disenfranchised grief) this part of the loss can get pushed deep in a person’s heart or spirit; being pushed back but not healed. Years or decades later this loss component can be the cause of serious mental, emotional or physical health problems.
How do you get help for traumatic loss?
- Talk with someone, tell your story several times
- Be open to the possibility of trauma being a component of loss but not all losses have a trauma component
- Seek professional help from someone who deals with trauma and grief loss
Professionals know what to look for when someone talks about their loss and are able to identify areas of concern.
How do you support someone who has experienced a traumatic loss?
- Mention the above ideas
- Listen to their story even if they tell it over and over again
- Seek more information if you are getting overly concerned about the grieving person and be their source of information
I have briefly touched on topics that have multiple aspects to consider.
There is no one size fits all solution.
I strongly recommend seeking professional help if you are uncertain if this relates to you or someone you know.
Information is powerful.
Being informed empowers.
Once empowered, a new “normal”
can open for those who grieve.
Barbara J. Saunders