I remember when I was first alone after a 29-year relationship ended.  I asked myself, “How is this different than before?”  Included with this question was am I okay now and will I be okay in the future?

THE FUTURE, WOW, what was that going to look like?  I sought counselling and was given a book to read that gave directions for outlining a plan of action, a way to get me started.  I thought about where I would like to be in 6 months, 1 year and 5 years.

Between the tears and the focusing over several days I compiled a plan to move forward with my life, I should say a sort of plan.  I had written down what I did not want in my life and a list of what I did want.  This was not my bucket list; it was a loose way of saying I made the effort to put some thought into what life might be.

I must say, I felt better for making an effort…a pat on the back, good work Barb.  Ya, right; who was I fooling?  If it was that easy everyone would feel better in a short time after a loss.  After feeling sad, lonely and afraid to delve into the topic of what do I want to make of myself now; I finally “DID” the plan.

Making a decision was the hardest for me to do and many people will tell you it still is the hardest thing to do.  See, I admit it, does that mean half of the problem was solved?  Maybe, but I still had to step into the choices I made, knowing there was no right or wrong choice.

One choice led to a “job” and then another job which eventually led to college and to university which was not in my initial plan.  Life gradually moved me forward over a bumpy road that got smoother over time. I wonder if the bumpiness was because, everything was a new experience in unexplored territory.

Having choices and making decisions to move forward in my life brought with it joy, friendships and experiences I would not have had if I didn’t take that first step forward.

I am grateful for the inner strength I found and the numerous supportive people I met along the way.  I couldn’t have done it without them. When the intent is set, sometimes the supports show up in mysterious ways.

All my best


“Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /”