Recently I had a conversation about “HUGS”, which caused me to delve deeper into this action. I found it interesting how some people need and crave hugs, while others try to run away from them. Which one are you?
Hugs mean different things to different people. Depending on your culture, background, gender, comfort level, abuse, coping skills, relationships and more may play a part to some degree with how you handle hugs.
What do you think of when you think of hugs? Possible thoughts about hugs might be warmth, fear, grief, lack of, too much, not enough, “get away from me” or “this is the best place to be”. Can you picture any of the above reactions in your mind?
Consider if you are the one who is giving or receiving hugs, there is a difference? Not all hugs are reciprocated or wanted. I remember being hugged during a funeral of a family member and at the moment that was the last thing I wanted. A hug caused me to break down, let my guard down at a time when I wanted to be in control.
Sometimes hugs are just hugs or going through the motions without feeling. The best hugs, in my opinion are the hugs that say I care; I am here for you and come from the heart with love and acceptance that goes both ways between those who are hugging.
Excuses are just that, EXCUSES! I wasn’t raised to give hugs. I do not like to give hugs. I’m too old for hugs. You add your own excuses if need be, but STOP! You are in charge of you and can create change in your life if you choose to do so.
Try hugging someone you care about and then hug some more.
All my best,
Barbara J. Saunders