After recently having a polite conversation with a police officer the thought occurred to me that people in service to others experience a lot of traumas.  There are things that cannot be unseen or unheard.

From a grief perspective, or for someone who has had a special person in their life die, by whatever means, the loss is in many cases tough to say the least.

Now, consider the people in our community who are the first responders, nurses, doctors, hospital staff, police, even the people who witness an accident where someone dies.  There are scenes that cannot be unseen or unheard.  Pictures or sounds that get imprinted in their mind.  The unspoken stories shared by those involved.

Each person involved remembers that scene long after the event and or death has passed.  The world is seen differently through their eyes, but you would never know this.

While driving near a certain spot in the road where an accident occurred, passing thoughts emerge and a silent inner nod of remembering is acknowledged, but you would never know.

The same holds true for other instances such as suicides, drownings, and whatever means of death and loss you can think of that impact the first people on the scene.

I wonder how often we think of or give credit to those who have helped or assisted the special people in our lives who died.  Often, we do not know who they are.  Perhaps we are too traumatised at the time to put our attention towards them.

Another area of support comes from counsellors in any capacity.  This could be religious supports, friends who listen to your story, grief counsellors, those in support groups and more.  Take a moment and think of the stories they might hear about and their reactions to the stories.

People who hear these traumatic events may experience their own emotional, psychological and sometimes physical reactions.  This is known as “vicarious trauma” and can accumulate over time.  They now will have a similar reaction to places where events occurred, a silent knowing, but you would never know this.

None of us talk about this, the things you cannot unsee or unhear.

When we go a bit deeper or broader, the death of a pet could create similar thoughts and remembering for some people.  Global tragedies such as September 11, 2001 the collapse of the twin towers that was televised for the world to see can also bring to mind the effects of vicarious trauma, but you would never know someone had these thoughts.

In summary, there are many among us who remember the tragedies of others.  They walk silently and continuously show up when and where they are needed.

Thank you to those who have and continue to see and hear.

All my best,

Barbara Gillett Saunders