I decided to share my experience of the day my elder daughter went in the hospital to deliver her second child, her first is now aged 10.  I am normally not an over protective parent who hovers over their child like a mother hen but this day was different. 

The difference was not the fact my daughter was having a baby, but I was more hyper vigilant with my thoughts and actions towards the whole process.  You may wonder why be more hyper vigilant?

About a month ago I attended the funeral of a full term baby who was doing well one day and the next day, prior to being born, complications arose.  I did not tell my daughter about this situation and the subsequent funeral service I attended. 

My heightened awareness came across as being a protective and concerned parent.  I thought I was doing a good job of it until, after telling her husband to check on this and do that, make sure this is okay…etc.,  I was told, “You are her mom, go ask the nurse yourself”.

Wow!  “Yes, I am the mom and I am going to do exactly that…check on things myself”.  I marched down the hall and watched as the nurse did her job checking monitors, documenting etc.  I then asked questions and got good answers.  I was making sure everything was being done to ensure mom and baby were okay. 

Fear of the unknown and the, what if something happens was a strong combination.  As time went on the staff had their own concerns about the delivery process and were monitoring everything more closely.  Perhaps there was more to this than fear. 

Maybe instinct, intuition, a mother’s knowing or whatever you want to call it kicked into high gear for me.  The point, even though I tried to be “calm”, I wasn’t doing a very good job of it and in all actuality it does not matter.    

I know in my heart, the experience of losing a child is devastating and life is not to be taken for granted.  On that day the outcome was good, a healthy baby boy.

All my best

Barbara Gillett Saunders