Hiding Behind the Mask

I know I talk about grief most of the time, but many people do not realize the extent grief affects their lives.  An individual’s spirit, relationships, sense of wellbeing, physical health and more are affected by unresolved grief.

Part of the problem with unresolved grief is people do not realize it is there.  Some individuals will say, “I did grieve”, “I dealt with my stuff several years ago”, “I am FINE” or “I’m okay”.

OKAY!  Let us take a look at one aspect of “YOU”.  Have you noticed you are a little more anxious lately or have been over the past several years?  Has this anxiousness led to other problems?

Are you less tolerant, more outspoken, perhaps seem more aggressive in your handling of daily events in life or the complete opposite?   Is anger or related actions and feelings a part of who you are or have become?   The above questions do not necessarily mean grief is an issue, but the possibility exists.

Be prepared for an aha moment that takes your mask away.  Upon closer scrutiny and a deeper look inside, perhaps the anger is at YOU; anger for wasting months and in some cases, years not feeling or feeling too much, not looking deeper and pushing the signs of grief behind the mask you show others and yourself.

Anger with yourself for wasting time crying alone, sleeping all day, not going out of the house and for giving the stress of grief plenty of time to take hold of YOU, may be overwhelming when you realize you have held too much inside you.

What have you missed because you were hiding behind the mask?

The awareness of anger in your life is a POSITIVE component of healing.  The opportunity to tell how you “REALLY” feel and explore new ways of handling emotions, feelings, avoidance and more, can help with ongoing relationships in life.

The strongest part of awareness is the release of a heavy, invisible burden you have carried for a long time.

Do more than imagine what this feels like…

Take time alone and feel some of the emotions.

Talk with someone about how you “really” feel.

Find a rock that is symbolic of your burden(s) in life and carry it with you

for as long as you need to and when you are ready to let the burden go,

you are also ready to throw the rock away.

Do whatever it takes to find the YOU who has


All my best,

Barbara Gillett Saunders

Grief Counsellor/Thanatologist